


Analogous & Antithesis

by truth_seeker_1789



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Canon Era, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Depressed Sam Winchester, Everyone Needs A Hug, How Do I Tag, Hurt Sam Winchester, Lucifer is dead, Nick doesn't get half of Lucifer's interests, Nick is a salty sassy peanut, POV Sam Winchester, Panic Attacks, Prose Poem, Sam Has Anxiety, Sam is justifiably paranoid, Sam is paranoid, Sam is too precious for this world, completely ignoring current canon, hunter!nick, i just want sam to have one friend who actually gets it, nick has anxiety, they're working on it, writers did my boys dirty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 07:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16280669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_seeker_1789/pseuds/truth_seeker_1789
Summary: Lucifer died; Nick woke up.Sam looks at Nick, and sometimes he can only see Hell.A little poem exploring possible growth and healing that Nick and Sam could go through together, and a reminder that things often get worse before they can truly get better.





	Analogous & Antithesis

 

 

"He cared about you, you know."

 

_Same voice. Same face._

 

"He never really wanted to hurt you."

 

_Different inflections. Different tastes._

 

"I'm sorry."

 

_No. Stop._

 

"I- I don't know where to go, what to do."

 

_Please don't._

 

"After what he did, I-"

 

_I can't-_

 

"Sam-"

 

_I-_

 

**"-Please."**

 

_Another trick. It has to be._

 

"Sam, I'm not him."

 

_There's no way you could have survived._

 

"Trust me; I'm as lost as you are."

 

_The melancholy hanging on your slumped shoulders?_

 

"I have nothing to return to."

 

_The wariness in your eyes?_

 

"You think he didn't rip me apart, too?"

 

_The worry in your voice?_

 

"I know what you're capable of, and sometimes **you** scare me more than the memories of him."

 

_The hiss of pain when we change your dressings-_

 

"Dammit; peroxide is some sonuvabitch. **God!** "

 

_The soft way you talk of_ _your family-_

 

"They were my everything, Sam. I would have moved the stars for them."

 

_The pleasure you show when you eat-_

 

"I forgot how amazing bacon is; good lord."

 

_You've proven you're human._

 

"Are you really sure about that? Riordan is **clearly** superior to Rowling."

 

_But sometimes, I still wonder._

 

"Which would cause a bigger explosion- Oil or oxygen?"

 

_I can't stop wondering-_

 

"No; go back. You missed it."

 

_Are you really who you say you are?_

 

"Look again, Sam."

 

_Different inflections._

 

"Oh, this will be **so** much fun."

 

_Different tastes._

 

"What the **hell** is Drag Race?"

 

_Same face._

 

"Jesus, Sam; you look like you've seen a ghost!"

 

_Same voice._

 

"God, I **hate** demons."

 

_Different inflections._

 

"I'd rather be hell-hound chow, thanks."

 

_Different tastes._

 

"Sorry, Jackie, but I always thought Star Wars was over-rated."

 

_Same voice._

 

" **Again** , Sam? **Really?** How many times do we have to do this?"

 

_Same face._

 

"Heya, Sammy."

 

_Nick-_

 

"Sam?"

 

_I-_

 

"Sam!"

 

_No-_

 

"Shit-"

 

_"Lucifer-"_

 

**"Sam!"**

 

 

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only thing that I could think about since finding out NICK IS BACK!
> 
> Or- Is it Nick?
> 
> I have been reeling for the past 24 hours, y'all. On one hand, I seriously love the thought of Nick and Sam becoming bros and bonding through their healing as they finally get a chance to move on from the trauma that was Lucifer. On the other- Lucifer is unironically one of my favorite characters (in SPN and in general), so- Yeh.
> 
> Sorry for leading Sammy into a panic attack at the end there.
> 
> Basically, if it's harder to follow than I expected when I was writing: Nick apologizing on Lucifer's behalf, asking Sam if he can stay with him as he has no one else to go home to, healing, slowly joining in with the rest of the residents (I didn't really write this with any of the AU!world folks in mind tbh), joining Sam on research and hunting- Sounding so similar to Hallucifer at times that Sam is still questioning if it may actually be Lucifer pretending. At one point, Nick slips out a casual, unplanned "Sammy," and it ends up being a trigger for Sam, seeing nothing in front of him save the Devil of his nightmares.
> 
> And honestly? I finished this unsure myself if I wrote this as Nick interacting with Sam, or if I was unintentionally writing a sneaky Luci. I still don't know, and it's been nearly 12 hours since I wrote this as an email draft on my work computer.


End file.
